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Cyber Stalker!

2K views 20 replies 17 participants last post by  shovelstrokeed 
#1 ·
Hello,

I figured this might be relevant.

A person and I disagreed on a public forum. No biggie. I used the ignore feature when he got nasty.

He subsequently began stalking me (I just found out) in early March and was banned from the related forum. Today I received an email from him through my website letting me know he's not forgotten about me.

This is one area that a lot of us don't watch as closely as others. Being in the public eye makes me a bigger target for such deranged individuals than the average person, but it can still happen to anyone in these days of information.

Document everything. That's they only thing I can suggest. Keep records of everything you do in cyberspace.

I'm not an expert, though.

I'm hoping my situation generates a discussion regarding a largely ignored threat vector.

Anyone have further thoughts on this subject?

Regards,

Josh
 
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#2 ·
There are a lot of deranged people out there. Unfortunately, the internet gives them a safe space to operate and to find other sickos to learn from and get emboldened by.

Yes, document everything, even the small and seemingly coincidental, and keep hard copies, in addition to a flash/thumb drive.
 
#4 ·
Lots of people are pretty bold behind a keyboard...

The downside to the electronic age is that we're exposed to people we'd likely never have interacted with before, and will likely never meet. Its quick, easy, and painless to pick a cyber fight, and there's little consequence for doing so.

Is this guy in close physical proximity to you? If not, probably not a big deal. If so, there's actions you can take...

Not sure what you meant by 'being in the public eye', but if one chooses to to have a "public " life, one assumes some risks...
 
#5 ·
Not sure what you meant by 'being in the public eye', but if one chooses to to have a "public " life, one assumes some risks...
I'm in the firearms accessories business. Because I prefer to be visible to customers, I use my real name and answer all emails myself, even using the phone on occasion though I have never been a phone-talker.

I try to stay as private as possible under the conditions.

Regards,

Josh
 
#7 ·
I am sorry to hear that is happening to you. You might report it to law enforcement in hopes that they will obtain the guy's name and address. This way you will know who you are dealing with, and if it escalates, might be able to take some kind of action. If this guy got talked to by his local cops, he probably would crawl off in to the darkness again. Lots of sickos are brave when they think that they are invisible, but run from the light.

Good luck.
 
#8 ·
When I was in the gun bidness all of my mail went to a PO box. I'd still be using a PO box but I moved. My old town had a great post office, the lobby was open 24/7 so you could get your mail at any time. Now that I've moved back to a "big city" I can't find a local post office that has a lobby open when the counters aren't open.

Anyway . . . . I sent all of my mail to a PO Box because I didn't want my home address readily available to one and all.
 
#9 ·
Hello,

The interesting part is that he seems to be an educated man.

I have his name and work address and email, but that didn't take a heckuva lot of doing. Either he doesn't care or he's computer stupid. Heck, I have his picture.

I'm not overly concerned on this one, but it's something to watch anyway.

I use my shop address because folks seem to prefer a physical address to a PO Box. I've been debating the PO Box for a few years.

Regards,

Josh
 
#10 ·
Sure, Call the cops & document this + whom you spoke with.

However, do NOT expect for them to have any concern whatsoever. As this is not actionable on any level, if the situation is as I understand it.

I was advised by a co-worker that his insane brother-in-law found my Realtor card among his soon to be ex-wive's belongings as he was burglarizing her home.

I had never heard of, met, or spoken to her.

Anyhow, Nutjob figured that she was leaving him for me. So he vowed to my co-worker that he would kill me. This scared my co-worker so bad that I only found out about this on a midnite phone call as the co-worker was hurriedly leaving town with his family!

He said "There's a guy named Mike coming for you with a gun. He's insane & on meth. Good luck, Buddy. We're outta here"

I went on armed lockdown & called the cops. El Cajon PD, five miles away (where Mike was living in his SUV) La Mesa PD (where I live) And the SD Sheriffs office.

All three agencies said there was absolutely nothing they could do.

I told them I already understood that before calling. I just wanted to keep them in the loop, in case I was found dead. Btw, the ECPD dispatcher knew Mike by name. They were well aware of this guy.

This scare ended when Mike ate a bullet in his truck in the Viejas Casino parking lot.

Point is, Don't expect much from the Police. I'm not Cop-Bashing here. They would have loved to throw him in jail. But there's legal barriers to that.
 
#11 ·
I tend to rub a lot of people the wrong way. I've had threats and nasty messages from folks on here and back when I used Facebook, on other forums, etc...I just ignore them because quite frankly the sort of guy that's trying to psyche me out online is more than likely an ill-bred shoat who's saying the sort of things that would frighten or intimidate his own person, and cowards like that are not worth a first, let alone a second thought (same as idiots).

That said, keep chat logs, save any threatening texts or emails, and that way should it ever escalate you have a chain of evidence showing malice on the side of proll in question. I know I do.
 
#12 ·
Seems like the first step would be to assess the physical threat. Is this guy anywhere near you(same neighborhood, town, state)?

Secondly has there been any threats of any kind or is he just annoying you by continual contact online. In and of itself that's not really a threat(although of course it can be an indicator of a potential threat).

If there have actually been any threats made then I would be surprised if the police can't do anything about it. However if they are resistant to working with you(not uncommon) you should consider chatting with a lawyer or somebody who can help you navigate the various protective orders which might be an option for you.

I would suspect if you can afford it, a lawyer will be more helpful then the police in this situation or just about any situation that still at the verbal stage.

Obviously saving all communication like everyone else has said. You mentioned you had a picture of this guy. Get familiar with it so that you'd pick him out of a crowd or be likely to recognize him just from your standard scanning of the folks around you.

That's all I can think of right now. Good topic. Like you said one that doesn't get much thought. Sometimes until it's a bad situation that gets worse. Way to go in thinking about it ahead of time.
 
#13 ·
Hello,

It's actually a banned member from here.

No threats yet, but harassment through my website's mailing form.

Idiot used his work address, so I went to his website. Seems he's a partner in a firm.

So, I used his firm's website's email submission form to submit a copy'n'paste of his message to me, the name he used, and the email address he put down.

My hope is that his fellow owners will get him in line. Damned poor judgement using a professional website's email to send hate mail.

Damned poor judgement being obsessed with a guy who disagreed with you on the internet.

He's in South Carolina and I'm in Indiana. I really doubt he's a threat, but his behavior here was erratic, as is his current behavior. (I've been going back through his posts on this site to study how he thinks.)

So, I dunno.

Regards,

Josh
 
#15 · (Edited)
Good response ... and thanks for sharing. My thoughts:.

Most people are rarely, if ever, thrust in such a position. But for people in the "public eye", and perhaps today for many teenagers, internet threats are all too common. And with some degree of societal breakdown and the far reach and quasi-anonymity of the internet, more and more ordinary people find themselves confronted by troubled individuals. The threats of a "keyboard commando" are rarely real, but they are unsettling... which is exactly the intent of the other individual.

I don't think there's any one answer. There are good insights posted in this thread. But from a risk standpoint, most of the time, there are one or more drivers around a person on a freeway, in everyday driving, that present a greater threat to one's safety than some keyboard commando type. Similarly, strangers loitering around in parking lots and other locations are likely to present greater risks of physical assault. (thus, be armed whenever possible).

In one sense, it's amazing that a "partner-level" person would do what you've described. But in another sense, some people in higher level positions have total disrespect for others ... they've (again some, just some) kicked around others throughout their life. Decency or the lack thereof, is not the sole property of any socioeconomic (ethnic, etc, for that matter) group.
 
#16 ·
The more attention paid to someone like that is just giving them what they want. However, there are electronic countermeasures available to preclude their activity from happening. One thing that is fun is to redirect e-mail to a SPAM generation site. They will get thousands and thousands of spam in a matter of minutes.
 
#17 ·
First thought is your user name, I assume it's your real name? I applaud your efforts to be up front with your customers but I typed in your name on some free websites and recommend you do the same. I think you may be amazed at what you can find out about what is floating around about you. In this day in age there is a reason or several to use a made up user name and do what you can to make tracking you more than a little difficult.

The good news is there are a lot of folks with your name but with a little info a bad person can do a lot of harm. Be careful.
 
#21 ·
Why would this be of concern?
I have engaged in quite a few internet slap fights, they never amount to a hill of beans.
On almost every site I belong to, there are rules about what you can say or do. Almost all of them will ban the poster if there are any threats implied to person or family. Calling someone an a$$hat does not constitute a threat, nor does a disagreement over politics, religion or even sports.
If it escalates to the point of harassment, there are proper authorities to deal with that.
Hell, I took a one week vacation from here over a sarcastic comment.
To the OP, don't ever visit the popular web site on adventure riding, a motorcycle forum. They have a specific section for both pointless argument and another for silly stuff. Even there, there are rules but they are pretty liberal.
 
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