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  #1  
Old 02-11-2009, 10:16 AM
Delcozrt Delcozrt is offline
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You might be a mall ninja if:

Apparently, some of our newbies are struggling with this problem. I thought a self-assessment guide would be useful to them.

You might be a mall ninja if:

You considered duct-taping a kitchen knife to your long arms to serve as a bayonet.

Your AR has more rails than the local train yard.

You put a heat shield on your shotgun because you may need it during urban assaults.

You put an M4 stock on your H&R single shot.

You put a pistol grip on your shotgun because you are so good at hip-shooting. If one pistol grip is good, two must be better, ehhh?

You don't actually have an AR, so you decided to make your 10/22 look like one as much as possible.

You have a breaching device on the end of your home defense shotgun, just in case you need to breach your own doors.

You think that during TSHTF, you will carry a bolt action rifle, a shotgun, a SOCOM M1A, a Ruger Mark II, and a 1911 just to cover all the base.

You have a .50 cal muzzle brake on your shotgun.

Your game remote is attached to an AR rail in case you get ambushed on Rainbow Six while you are handling your AR.

You have desert camo or sand colored weapons, even though you live in Illinois.

You consider playing Call of Duty to be combat experience.


Did I miss any?
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  #2  
Old 02-11-2009, 10:43 AM
GLOBAL FIRE GLOBAL FIRE is offline
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I don't care who you are, That's funny right there.
  #3  
Old 02-11-2009, 10:48 AM
acoilfld acoilfld is offline
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There is some interesting reading here:
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
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  #4  
Old 02-11-2009, 11:02 AM
Ron H. Ron H. is offline
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Sir, here are a few more.

You have seven custom 1911s, 112 Wilson 47Ds (with Tripp upgrades), and only 42 rounds of ammunition.

You had to buy a mannequin to hang your assault vest on because regular closet hangers aren't strong enough.

You have a full set of duece gear yet are not and never have been in the military.

Hope this helps, and Semper Fi.

Ron H.
  #5  
Old 02-11-2009, 11:05 AM
BillD BillD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acoilfld View Post
There is some interesting reading here:
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
That is hilarious!!
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  #6  
Old 02-11-2009, 11:11 AM
chifus chifus is offline
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found some mall ninja weapons.





  #7  
Old 02-11-2009, 11:27 AM
halo2304 halo2304 is offline
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You might be a mall ninja if...

...you can say "A Hi-point beats a Glock, H&K, SIG, etc. any day!" with a straight face.

...Hollywood has sent you rejection letters because they think your movie ideas are too lame even for them!

...you use the term "frag grenade" on a daily basis but work as a mail clerk in an office building.

...you don't know why custom holster makers laugh at you when you ask them to make you double ankle holsters for your Desert Eagles, all four of them!

...if you think "relative humidity" means steaming up the back seat windows with your cousin! Oops, wrong list!

...if you carry more throwing knives than a Ginsu retailer!
  #8  
Old 02-11-2009, 11:27 AM
Stormin'N Stormin'N is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acoilfld View Post
There is some interesting reading here:
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
I miss Gecko45. A (cough...cough) real american hero.
  #9  
Old 02-11-2009, 11:32 AM
Asylum Keeper Asylum Keeper is offline
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From urban dictionary

Quote:
1. mall ninja

A term used in forums to mean an unexperienced and enthusiastic weapon(usually a firearm)owner who pretends to be a seasoned operator. The phrase came about as a result of an over the top character in a famous satirical thread.
Also found a quiz
http://helloquizzy.okcupid.com/quizzy/take
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Last edited by Asylum Keeper; 02-11-2009 at 11:43 AM.
  #10  
Old 02-11-2009, 11:49 AM
Iggy Iggy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chifus View Post
found some mall ninja weapons.





I miss ol Skunkabilly!!
  #11  
Old 02-11-2009, 12:35 PM
Delcozrt Delcozrt is offline
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the real mall ninja

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zr3nTLZk6g
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  #12  
Old 02-11-2009, 12:45 PM
Asylum Keeper Asylum Keeper is offline
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kckLMufuObQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jgz5rlTInaQ

Now, this kid making fun of the dork from the videos above
very funny stuff!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drxA9d3Ddjw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m35iqaI5IzM
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  #13  
Old 02-11-2009, 01:44 PM
CustomKimber CustomKimber is offline
 
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I just spent the last 30 minutes laughing my @ss off over the mall ninja thread. That was a lot of reading but it was worth it. I'm sure glad those guys are protecting me at the mall. Wait...I don't go to the mall.
  #14  
Old 02-11-2009, 02:06 PM
switchman73 switchman73 is offline
 
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hahahahahaha

Quote:
Originally Posted by chifus View Post
found some mall ninja weapons.





i can hang my keys on it? and that key ring grip attachment is available where? let me know
  #15  
Old 02-11-2009, 02:20 PM
chifus chifus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asylum Keeper View Post

LOL havent laughed so hard in ages. great post.
  #16  
Old 02-11-2009, 02:46 PM
LeMat LeMat is offline
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"Shoot and scoot."
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What a blow that was to us! And how it shamed us! All that brave talk by patriots, "The government will never take my guns away," and then nothing but meek submission when it happened.

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  #17  
Old 02-11-2009, 02:55 PM
Paven Paven is offline
 
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Thank you for the laugh.

Paven
  #18  
Old 02-11-2009, 03:00 PM
Asylum Keeper Asylum Keeper is offline
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Got me thinking. I might gather some stuff and make a training video like that.
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  #19  
Old 02-11-2009, 04:31 PM
aldertyler aldertyler is offline
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"shoot and scoot"

I must have been SIQ that training day
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  #20  
Old 02-11-2009, 04:36 PM
tmbrwolf40 tmbrwolf40 is offline
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funny, scary, and a bit sad.
  #21  
Old 02-11-2009, 04:36 PM
master gunner master gunner is offline
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You considered duct-taping a kitchen knife to your long arms to serve as a bayonet.

http://www.downrange.tv/blog/?p=1782

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  #22  
Old 02-11-2009, 04:44 PM
11,43mm 11,43mm is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tmbrwolf40 View Post
funny, scary, and a bit sad.
Wait until you meet one in real life...
  #23  
Old 02-11-2009, 05:13 PM
Asylum Keeper Asylum Keeper is offline
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I really do not see any benefit to having a knife attached to a pistol
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  #24  
Old 02-11-2009, 06:24 PM
CelticWarrior13 CelticWarrior13 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asylum Keeper View Post
I really do not see any benefit to having a knife attached to a pistol

SEEE...SEEEE...Right there...you just FAILED!!!!

The Mall Ninja entrance exam...the correct response would've been either:
a) Where can I get one of those (I'm not allowed out after 6:00pm)
b) How much are they (I don't have much money left after the Dungeons & Dragons convention and I don't get my allowance 'til next week)
c) All of the above

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Disclaimer: The writer does not represent any organization, employer, entity or other individual. The views expressed are those only of the writer. In the case of a sarcastic, facetious, nonsensical, stirring-the-pot, controversial or devil's advocate-type post, the views expressed may not even reflect those of the writer [This sig stolen from That Guy who stole it from Brickcop who stole it from Frank Booth].
  #25  
Old 02-11-2009, 06:27 PM
Asylum Keeper Asylum Keeper is offline
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My mom says I will succeed at anything I put my mind to, so there!!
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