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  #1  
Old 04-04-2019, 01:35 PM
Pat-inCO Pat-inCO is offline
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SIL retiring from LE - How can I best help?

My Son-In-Law is due to retire from LE in about a month. From what I can see, he is ready
to get away from the new Captain and some of the newbies, but I suspect he will miss
several friends he has in department.

The friend issue is one I think her needs to address without my being around. I'm thinking
in terms of many other issues, such as not having the adrenalin dump on a regular basis.

I have help from my daughter in that she has a small book of honey-do type projects to
keep him from going idle (many of which he suggested ).

Any thoughts from those that have already made that transition?
Thanks! - - Pat
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Old 04-04-2019, 02:38 PM
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apipeguy apipeguy is offline
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Is he ready to retire or doing so because he is eligible and wants to get away from the new Captain. Big difference.

If he is ready to retire, he’ll be fine. My situation was a little different than many as I had 40 years and was 61 when I retired and I was definitely ready. I was in retirement mode the next day. I keep busy around the house and with shooting and reloading and have no idea of how I had enough time to do anything before I retired. Had considered a part time job at a gun shop but I honestly don’t have time for it.

If he has hobbies and projects to keep him busy he’ll be fine. If he is going to sit around and watch tv thinking he should have stayed a while longer he won’t.

It all depends on what his mindset is and he is the only one that truly knows that.

Best of wishes to your son in-law.
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Old 04-04-2019, 04:50 PM
0311 George-Az 0311 George-Az is offline
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Maybe a copy of the "Excommunicated Warrior" by Nick Koumalatsos. He was a Marine but the book appears helpful. There is a website by his name and there are some youtube videos. It is military in nature, but it may apply. Your Sil will be leaving a world only few really understand. And it takes a while to process.

Your SiL will definitely go through a process and it can be difficult to leave the job. It can be hard on the spouse as well and many people don't understand "riding off into the sunset" isn't all it was cracked up to be. If he has a hobby, like a real hobby - like turning wrenches on an old truck or muscle car, this seems to help.

I don't know his level of physical fitness, but activity and real exercise will relieve some stress. Weights, running, cycling, surfing, kayaking, strenuous stuff can help some and some just want to wake up at 0800 and start a day.

I really do wish him the best. Thanks for his service don't always do justice because he knows people don't understand. Look at it this way, for likely 20 years he has been dealing with the worst society deals out and then sometimes mid-shift, we go out and eat because we are hungry. And we are going to reference the event in the most morbid and seemingly callous of ways, day or night and laugh or at least grin. This is the culture out of survival.

I really hope he loves being retired. He made it!
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Last edited by 0311 George-Az; 04-04-2019 at 04:52 PM.
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  #4  
Old 04-04-2019, 07:17 PM
packgoat packgoat is offline
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I retired in January after 34 years and 4 months. I left in good standing and enjoyed my job, but knew it was time to go. I have another job teaching first responders.

The transition was hard and I miss the brotherhood. The other posts share good advice, and he is leaving at a good time of year. The weather is better now than in January and the days are longer.

I would encourage him to stay connected with his friends. The advice about strenuous exercise is right on. If he can do this with friends, even better.

Please congratulate him for me. There should be a celebration every time a man or woman in blue makes it to the end.

Don
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Old 04-04-2019, 07:45 PM
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Kevin Rohrer Kevin Rohrer is offline
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1. Have him keep his commission and if he misses the job after awhile, he can get a part-time LE job elsewhere.

2. Make sure he has plenty to do to keep him busy (projects, shooting, hunting, reloading, travel, etc).

3. He might need a few months to adjust. The busier he is, the faster he will adjust.
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Old 04-04-2019, 11:39 PM
gumbee gumbee is online now
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David(apipeguy)is spot on!
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Old 04-05-2019, 09:25 PM
Pat-inCO Pat-inCO is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by packgoat
I would encourage him to stay connected with his friends.
The advice about strenuous exercise is right on.
If he can do this with friends, even better.
"There should be a celebration every time a man or woman in blue makes it to the end."
To that I'll add SAFELY to the end.

He has one very good thing going in that his real buddy in the department is retiring about
a week before the SIL. That will give them someone to talk with that fully knows what is/was
going on. - - Second part of that is they are/were department firearms instructors and
both love to shoot. My bet is that I get to tag along on many (I hope) a range day.

On the shooting days . . . I just got three pepper popers and have finished painting them
and am now deciding on how to set them up at the range. SIL has some strong input,
that will keep him busy for at least one week-end to get that going.

Thanks for the input, to all!
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Old 04-06-2019, 11:33 AM
Coyote56 Coyote56 is offline
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I retired fairly young, because I could.
Got more than a bit dissatisfied with my assignment and short of taking a voluntary demotion I was stuck there...hated showing up for work each morning.
Left on very good terms. Never regretted making the move.
Found plenty to keep me busy once I left.
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Old 04-06-2019, 11:50 AM
tazaroo tazaroo is offline
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Tell him to never let anyone get under his skin and push him out the door. I've been with our agency for 27 years now and was eligible to retire last July. If he's an asset to the department and he knows it he should plant the seed in a few ears of some of the folks that he know has a big mouth. He could get a pay bump or even a promotion if he's on a eligibility list. Department politics can be tricky but it worked for me and I'm going to do my best to get my 30 years in. There is NOTHING a co worker can do to me to run me out.
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Old 04-06-2019, 01:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tazaroo View Post
Tell him to never let anyone get under his skin and push him out the door. I've been with our agency for 27 years now and was eligible to retire last July. If he's an asset to the department and he knows it he should plant the seed in a few ears of some of the folks that he know has a big mouth. He could get a pay bump or even a promotion if he's on a eligibility list. Department politics can be tricky but it worked for me and I'm going to do my best to get my 30 years in. There is NOTHING a co worker can do to me to run me out.
Department politics in my view was the biggest stress of anything. I was a major case detective for most of my career and never had any issue with the “job”, stress wise. Stress from the admin making stupid decisions on a regular basis and the good ol’ boy network full of butt kissers and yes men. That is where the stress came from. I also ended up with less than enough patience for the millennial employees.

Loved my job/career and would not change anything that I experienced but I certainly do love my retirement. I remember talking to an old retired Circuit Court Judge before I retired and he said that the best time of the week was Sunday at 4:00pm as when you’re retired you don’t start worrying about the week ahead on Sunday at 4:00pm. Probably true for many other careers, also.
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Old 04-07-2019, 01:19 AM
Pat-inCO Pat-inCO is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apipeguy
I remember talking to an old retired Circuit Court Judge before I retired and he said
that the best time of the week was Sunday at 4:00pm as when you’re retired you don’t
start worrying about the week ahead on Sunday at 4:00pm.
I'm of the opinion that the only thing you need to be concerned with once retired
is when Friday 15:00 comes along. That's when a 36 hour "crazy" time starts.
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  #12  
Old 06-24-2019, 04:00 PM
fastreb fastreb is offline
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I put 21 years in with the military before I decided to hang up those boots. I've got 23 on with my dept. and only have two more to reach full retirement. I honestly don't know if I'll pull the plug then or not. The camaraderie we had when I came on isn't there anymore. When I retired from the military, I knew it was time. Age and PC issues were definitely factors then. If I do stay on the job, it'll probably be just to get the youngest kid through college, not because of any joy in the job anymore.
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Old 07-03-2019, 11:10 PM
tomrees2 tomrees2 is offline
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I retired in 2011 after 37 years. Part of my work was inside some high security prisons, and the rest on the streets as a cop. I was ready. As long as his pension is adequate for his living expenses and hobbies he either has or starts, he should be fine. Like apipeguy said, I'm wondering how I had time to go to work . . . . I have built a couple pistols, reload for many, brew practically all of the beer I drink, and go on 2-3 week vacations when we can. Life is good, every day should be a Saturday in retirement.
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