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  #51  
Old 05-28-2012, 09:20 PM
invssgt invssgt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerryM View Post
Keeping secrets from a wife is one of the poorest things you can do if you want a true lifetime loving marriage.
Jerry
Getting your guts cut out with a shoplifted Old Hickory isn't going to enhance your romantic opportunities much, either.
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  #52  
Old 05-28-2012, 09:50 PM
master gunner master gunner is offline
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Jerry M;

This is a quote I posted a while back in answer to another person on this forum, I think it applies to you also.

You sir are a nice person; I like nice people.

However I am not a nice person.

We need folks like you around.

Unfortunately we also need some folks like me.


Kelly
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  #53  
Old 05-29-2012, 12:17 AM
B-Rad B-Rad is offline
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My last (previous to this one) had an issue with me having a gun everywhere we went till we went out for new years eve one year and was glad I had it. After that she went back to hating me carrying it around and trying to always talk me into leaving it around.

Current GF, future wife carries her own around, so we're good.
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  #54  
Old 05-29-2012, 01:49 AM
monadh monadh is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by master gunner View Post
Jerry M;

This is a quote I posted a while back in answer to another person on this forum, I think it applies to you also.

You sir are a nice person; I like nice people.

However I am not a nice person.

We need folks like you around.

Unfortunately we also need some folks like me.


Kelly
Top,

As God is my witness, I hope our paths cross. I had a CSM that was like you, and he was the best NCO I ever knew. He taught me a lot.

You're all right. If you don't mind, I'm going to borrow what you said.
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  #55  
Old 05-29-2012, 04:17 AM
HungrySeagull HungrySeagull is offline
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Nicely put Master Gunner and Monadah.

Sheep are nice. Sheepdogs are not too nice. Wolves have no empathy.

I hope that every family has at least one Sheepdog.

My wife and I work hard to have a nice home, but out there... not so much.
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  #56  
Old 05-29-2012, 04:49 AM
Zeeked Zeeked is offline
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I picked a pretty good one, after seeing me put my pistol in the safe after an outing my 9 year old asked why I carried a gun and my wife answered before I could: "because your dad's a badass and he loves us". After this I of course had to explain that I am not in fact a badass but I do love my family and would lay down my life to protect any one of them should I have to. I also explained how there are many people about that have less than friendly intentions and I don't care to subject my family to their will, along with the "always carry, never tell" motto. It was pretty good to hear how my wife felt about me carrying, although she never had any objections to it to begin with. Now if I could just get her to understand why I "need" to have more firearms I'd be set lol.
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  #57  
Old 05-29-2012, 11:52 AM
JDawg JDawg is offline
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I obtained my CHL about a year and a half ago, and carry about 90% of the time where legal. My wife is unaware that I have a CHL or that I carry on a regular basis.

To answer the OP questions:
1 - why did you feel this issue could not be overcome?
I did not feel that there was any issue to overcome. I was into hunting, fishing and shooting long before I started dating my wife, and this fact was well known to her when we were dating. My wife has and will probably never have any interest in firearms or shooting. I owned firearms before we were married and there was never a question about them being in our house. However, they are MY GUNS, and I was told before we were married that I was the one responsible for the security and safe storage of MY Guns.

2 - what led you take action on your own without support?
I grew up in a area that was “safe” but went to public school with people who were from ‘the bad part of town” and saw first hand what was out there. I know that things have changed a lot in the last 30 years and not for the better. I travel about twice and month for bussiess, very early morning departures and very late night drives to get back home. My wife was aware that I would sometimes have a sidearm in the car on these trips (NC Open Carry in vehicle). Obtaining my CHL would allow me to more easily travel lawfully in more places. And as an Adult, I did not see any reason to seek permission /approval for something that is legal and lawful for me to do.

3 - how were you able to conceal this physically from them knowing?
I carry IWB with an un-tucked shirt. I have never had anyone including the wife ask any questions about anything under my shirt. And if she noticed she would ask!!! Also FYI, I am 5’8”, 180 and carry a 5” 1911 and two spare 8 round mags. Concealed means Concealed.

4 - when and how did they find out?
My wife has yet to notice.

As to your question about a spouse not knowing about a weapon being stored in the home: My wife knows that there are firearms in the home.

As to it would create a potentially unsafe environment by the spouse not knowing a loaded weapon is being carried: The fact that my wife knowing that I “had a Gun” would more than likely result in behavior on her part that would call unwanted attention to that fact. The firearm is My Responsibility, not hers.

As my children have gotten older they have been introduced to firearms and taught firearms SAFETY. Both of them enjoy shooting and understand the proper safe handling and use of firearms. So the wife is aware that the children are into shooting and hunting.

But Bottom Line: As a husband and a father the most important responsibility for me is to provide for and to protect my family. This is what I expect from myself and what my wife expects form me. Why should my wife care how I chose to do this, Just so long as I lawful in my means and successful in providing for and protecting my family ??
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  #58  
Old 05-29-2012, 12:50 PM
Fyrefighter Fyrefighter is online now
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Not to come off as a total A-Hole but when my wife and I met I already had guns she was never crazy about it. She is by nature a Liberal and I am about as far opposite of that as can be. When I decided it was time to get my CWL I pretty much told here as a matter of fact that I was going to take the class and get the permit. She wasn't exactly enthused but she accepted it. She knew she would lose the conversation.

My wife and I have a relationship where we are partners in most things but there are a few things that are non negotiable. This is one of them.
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  #59  
Old 05-29-2012, 01:45 PM
commander01 commander01 is offline
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I'm pretty lucky. My wife also has a CCW, and the last pistol I purchased (Colt Defender 9mm), she claimed as hers, and told me she would let me shoot it once in a while.

Her only quirk, is that she doesn't like having my pistol in C1, it makes her nervous, but she allows it.
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  #60  
Old 05-31-2012, 07:05 AM
HungrySeagull HungrySeagull is offline
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One thing though, My spouse does not allow the Chamber to have a round in bed... among other things... rofl
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  #61  
Old 05-31-2012, 03:16 PM
richpetrone richpetrone is offline
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Woman and guns

Unfortunately, too many woman have an aversion to the thought of having to shoot a gun and possibly kill someone....!

Funny thing though, when I taught concealed carry firearm classes, the majority of the woman had some story of how they had been a victim, and they weren't going to let that happen again.....

Seems like a woman's viewpoint may change after a life and death confrontation when they are the victim......

The most insane asssumption people make, is that all people are "sane." No one can negotitate or reason with a crazy person, a drug addict, a drunk, or an extremely desperate individual......which can often turn violent.....and as we all know, there is never a cop around when you need one!l
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  #62  
Old 05-31-2012, 10:08 PM
Bigapple828 Bigapple828 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richpetrone View Post
Unfortunately, too many woman have an aversion to the thought of having to shoot a gun and possibly kill someone....!

Funny thing though, when I taught concealed carry firearm classes, the majority of the woman had some story of how they had been a victim, and they weren't going to let that happen again.....

Seems like a woman's viewpoint may change after a life and death confrontation when they are the victim......

The most insane asssumption people make, is that all people are "sane." No one can negotitate or reason with a crazy person, a drug addict, a drunk, or an extremely desperate individual......which can often turn violent.....and as we all know, there is never a cop around when you need one!l
The problem is that women choose to not be a victim again. They insist on letting a fight or flight confrontation happen before they want to learn firearm handling.

There are bad people in this world. Nothing will change that. Period.
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  #63  
Old 05-31-2012, 10:56 PM
USMM guy USMM guy is offline
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I guess that I am lucky.

My wife is an import from Holland. once she came over here, and I explained how things are. Well after I taught her how to shoot, she spoke right up. one day she got up and told me, " I want my own .45"
Well of course we had to go out and get her one right away. She checked out a few different guns. And damn if she did not walk out of the place with her very own ED Brown Special Forces. "This is the one that I want".

The woman has good taste, what can I say?
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  #64  
Old 06-01-2012, 12:11 AM
bflying bflying is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JDawg View Post
I obtained my CHL about a year and a half ago, and carry about 90% of the time where legal. My wife is unaware that I have a CHL or that I carry on a regular basis.


3 - how were you able to conceal this physically from them knowing?
I carry IWB with an un-tucked shirt. I have never had anyone including the wife ask any questions about anything under my shirt. And if she noticed she would ask!!! Also FYI, I am 5’8”, 180 and carry a 5” 1911 and two spare 8 round mags. Concealed means Concealed.

4 - when and how did they find out?
My wife has yet to notice.

Wow, hug your wife much?

I love it. If I could get away with that, I'd have more guns.
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  #65  
Old 06-01-2012, 07:47 AM
master gunner master gunner is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USMM guy View Post
My wife is an import from Holland. once she came over here, and I explained how things are. Well after I taught her how to shoot, she spoke right up. one day she got up and told me, " I want my own .45"
Well of course we had to go out and get her one right away. She checked out a few different guns. And damn if she did not walk out of the place with her very own ED Brown Special Forces. "This is the one that I want".

The woman has good taste, what can I say?
In weapons.





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  #66  
Old 06-01-2012, 08:41 AM
JerryM JerryM is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by master gunner View Post
Jerry M;

This is a quote I posted a while back in answer to another person on this forum, I think it applies to you also.

You sir are a nice person; I like nice people.

However I am not a nice person.

We need folks like you around.

Unfortunately we also need some folks like me.

Kelly
Hi, Kelly,

I truly wish I was a nice person. I do try to be, but man's nature is not nice in his natural state. I have been changed by Christ, but the old nature remains, and will until He takes me.

In reading your posts you often make the point you are not nice, in one way or the other.
Don't mistake the fact that someone wants to be nice with an inability to do what is needed at a particular time. I don't think I am tough, but have always been able to do what I needed to do, including 22 years active duty, including RVN.

What we need in this nation are men, and women, who have a dedication to righteousness. You might be surprised to learn that being a Christian and wanting to be nice does not mean "panty waist."

I don't think in terms of being a sheep or a sheep dog, but just a man who attempts to be what he needs to be to take care of his family, keep them safe, and be a good citizen. Following Christ, and His ways to the best of my ability, which is often poorly done, results in the best marriage and one in which we are honest, each knowing what our goals in life are and helping each other to accomplish those goals. Keeping things from one another does not accomplish those goals.
In our family we both realize that God has given me a 51% vote as the head of the family. My wife is a submissive wife, but takes part in all decisions of importance. I would never consider making an important decision without her, and we have always agreed. If we had not we would have waited until we did if possible. We want God to control our lives and what He wants us to do He will tell both of us.

It really works, and there is no dishonesty or hiding what either of us does.

To hide gun buying and things like owning and carrying a gun is not conducive to a good marriage.

Regards,
Jerry
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Last edited by JerryM; 06-01-2012 at 08:51 AM.
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  #67  
Old 06-01-2012, 10:04 AM
GDoily GDoily is offline
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Convinced my wife to take the CHL course. After that, I was able to convince her to do a 250 Pistol course with me at Gunsite. Following those 2 events, she has come around significantly. As we all know, what works for one may not work for another, but it is worth a try. I think more than anything the GS experience convinced her that is was not a radical concept at all to be prepared - and she had a lot of fun.

Last edited by GDoily; 06-01-2012 at 10:05 AM. Reason: sp
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  #68  
Old 06-01-2012, 12:07 PM
higgy1911 higgy1911 is offline
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While I dsagree with the notion of owning or carrying a gun being up to 51% of Gods given vote, or whatever, and think it is only up to the person carrying the gun whether he or she does so or not, I have to agree with Jerry and some of you others about keeping it secret. Besides the fact that it wont work, I wouldnt want to be the kind of guy who lies to avoid an argument. If you are going to carry, carry. Dont ask permission, and don't try to hide it.
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  #69  
Old 06-01-2012, 12:18 PM
JerryM JerryM is offline
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Hi again Kelly.

I should have asked in my last post, but if you are not nice why do we need people who are not nice? I guess you would have to define the terms "nice" and "not nice."

We actually have too many people around who are not nice.

Jerry
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  #70  
Old 06-01-2012, 12:20 PM
JerryM JerryM is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by invssgt View Post
Getting your guts cut out with a shoplifted Old Hickory isn't going to enhance your romantic opportunities much, either.
But those are not the only alternatives. Why do you think that will happen?
Jerry
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  #71  
Old 06-01-2012, 11:03 PM
USMM guy USMM guy is offline
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Hey I resemble that remark.

She not only has good taste in guns. But she has good taste in clothing also.
Quote:
Originally Posted by master gunner View Post
In weapons.





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  #72  
Old 06-03-2012, 07:44 PM
Riverpigusmc Riverpigusmc is offline
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I'm 55, my wife is 40
The guns and CWL were here before she was
I'm a certified curmudgeon, and Marines carry guns
She knew it going in and deals with it
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  #73  
Old 06-04-2012, 06:48 AM
richpetrone richpetrone is offline
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Woman and guns

My girlfriend asked me to help her train to use a pistol, since she had never fired one, and wanted to have home protection.

I spent quite a bit of training time with her before we went to my local private range. She asked very good questions, and the gun I am letting her use is a Colt 1911 in 9mm. The gun has enough weight to dampen recoil, and I use 124 gr. JHP reloads at roughly 1030 fps.

My girlfried wanted to learn, and was extremely attentive when we went over the details of proper gun safety and gun handling. We reviewed and reenforced her training the following day as we drove to the range.

I had her wear foam ear plugs and a set of "ear muffs" to dampen the noise to reduce the tendency to flinch from the loud noise. Her sunglases also had a tendency to push the muffs slightly away from her ears, which probably allowed more sound, so the ear plugs helped.

She started her shooting session by learning how to load the magazine. We started with one round loaded in the gun, and she fired from the seated position resting the gun on the shooting bench at a distance of roughly 7 yds. Her first shot was in the center of an IDPA cardboard target....no black bullsye targets were used. I emphasized concentrating on the front sight, and pressing the trigger straight back to keep the sights aligned before, during, and after the shot was fired. From the seated position, she fired a group about 2.5" for about 15 shots. We then tried the standing position shooting two hand free style. She did not flinch, and I explained that she had to accept her wobble area, but still concentrate on the front sight and press the trigger while keeping the sights aligned before, during, and after the shot was fired. I explained she had to disregard the wobble area, and focus on front sight. She grasped this concept very well, and fired about 15 shots within a 4 inch group at 7 yds. She had a tendency to hold the gun too long, and often held it at arms length for over 8 seconds. I explained she was holding too long, and from the moment she brought the gun to eye level and placed her finger on the trigger, she wanted to break the shot in no more than 5 seconds. I would mentally count the seconds, and if she didn't get the shot off, I would ask her to place the gun on the bench, and start over. Towards the end of the session, the gun was pretty heavy for her standing off hand, and she started to drop the shots lower than COM, but still no signs of jerking or flinching. She did outstanding for her first range session, and we will continue to work on her shooting. Her confidence level was really boosted when I kept reenforcing how well she was doing for a first time shooter! I kept "high fiving her" all day!

She understands that as a single woman living alone in a large house, even with her security alarm, she needs to be able to defend herself if needed. She also carries the gun in a gun rug in her car when she leaves her home. She is a very intelligent woman, that understands the need to have the capability to defend herself.

Last edited by richpetrone; 06-04-2012 at 06:52 AM.
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  #74  
Old 06-04-2012, 08:17 AM
Bigapple828 Bigapple828 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richpetrone View Post
She understands that as a single woman living alone in a large house, even with her security alarm, she needs to be able to defend herself if needed. She also carries the gun in a gun rug in her car when she leaves her home. She is a very intelligent woman, that understands the need to have the capability to defend herself.
Man, I wish more women felt empowered to do this and get over the fear of firearms. I've met quite a few girls who love it and enjoy getting to shoot, but the majority of girls I've met are afraid of guns simply because they're seen as a "man's" thing. Just like a car is dangerous until you learn how to drive it, a gun is only dangerous until you know how to "drive" it.

I will also say this though; every girl who has shot with me has done considerably well! They sure do have more patience than men!
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  #75  
Old 06-19-2012, 08:49 PM
intrepid intrepid is offline
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1 - why did you feel this issue could not be overcome?

My wife has never liked guns, her parents don't like guns. When I got into guns I figured it would be easier to keep it from her...

2 - what led you take action on your own without support?

I bought a shotgun when I turned 18 and a handgun when I turned 21. I guess I did it because "I could". I didn't have the handgun for very long before I decided I would exercise my 2nd A right and carry it.

3 - how were you able to conceal this physically from them knowing?

We worked opposite shifts pretty regularly, I would just stash the gun/holster in a sock drawer or somewhere where she wouldn't look.
Also, I got good at hugging low, so she would have to hug high.

4 - when and how did they find out?

She found a receipt for a holster......

5 - how did it go down from there?

Well, she totally freaked out... Said I had to sell all the guns if I wanted to stay married. After a few days I agreed to sell a few of the "extras" but was not willing to get rid of my semi-custom 1911s, and was not going to stop carrying. It was a battle for a few weeks, very tense.

It was real bad for a while, but I'm so glad it happened! I hated hiding things from her. She still hates guns, but she knows I always have one on me, and there have been times where that gave her comfort.
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